Look At Me
by goblynn
Summary: Jubilee comes back to the mansion after a few years away...Logan reacts. Fluff. You've been warned.


LookAtMe Disclaimer: I have no association with Marvel or any other entity connected to the creators/publishers of the X-Men. This   
writing is purely for amusement only, and no infringement is intended. Nor is any infringement intended concerning Phil Collins   
or Genesis, nor any songs written, produced, and/or recorded by either of the aforementioned entities.   
Feedback: Constructive criticism is welcomed, as well as all praise (of course!). Flames will be shot back at the sender. ;) 

And now, on with the show...   
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Look at Me--by Goblynn 

Chapter 1

Three years. 

It had been three long years since she'd last set foot on the mansion grounds. Three years since she'd heard the soothing tones of the Professor's voice…saw Jean's comforting smile…caught the vibrant tones of Rogue's raucous laughter…exchanged a glance with the mischievous eyes of Gambit…evaded the stern watch of Cyclops…dropped in on Hank in the lab and shared a Twinkie….   
Three years without seeing _him_.   
Logan. Wolverine.   
*Wolvie.*   
God, how she'd missed him--but she'd had to leave. No choice. Things were just too…hell. She didn't want to think about that anymore. It was over. Dead. Gone. Buried in the past where it ought to be left. It didn't matter now, anyway. What mattered was that she was back, standing at the front door, poised to knock--ready to rejoin the family she'd been away from for too long. A sigh escaped her lips, and her gloved hand rapped on the oak door three times in rapid succession.   
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Reaching for another beer, Logan growled in displeasure at the disturbance. *Who the hell's comin' ta see us now?* He plunked the beer on the table as he left the room. Yanking the door open wide, he looked fiercely at the visitor.   
"Hi, Wolvie."   
Logan stared at the lithe woman before him, recognition hitting him like a brick. He'd expected Jubilee to have changed during her time away, but he'd never thought that he'd be eye-to-eye with _this_. Jubilee was radiant, her black hair cascading midway down her back, spilling over her shoulders. Three years had erased the remnants of childhood, and she'd turned out to be one of the most beautiful women he'd ever laid eyes on. A smirk stilled before it formed. *She's still Jubilee, though. I'd bet my life on it.*   
She met his gaze with a stare that gave away her own impressions. Logan had _not_ changed. Wild hair rising in points, the snarl, the sideburns…she stifled a grin. *Him and that hair o' his.* He was the same Wolverine, but there was something new flashing in his eyes. It vanished as quickly as it had appeared, leaving the old look of camaraderie behind. Before she could say any more, Jubilee found herself pulled close to him, crushed to his chest. Locked in his embrace, the full remembrance of him fell upon her--his smell, the solidness of his muscles, the feel of his hands in her hair--overwhelming her in the instant that it took him to sweep her through the doorway. Suddenly, Logan released her, holding her at arm's length.   
"Wolvie? What is--"   
"Logan? Who is our visitor?"   
Jubilee turned to see Storm coming down the staircase. "Storm…it's me."   
The white-haired beauty was visibly startled. "Jubilation?"   
"Yeah."   
"Oh, goddess…" Storm rushed down the stairs, wrapping Jubilee in a tight embrace. "It is wonderful to see you again, child. We have missed you so." Stepping back, Storm looked down the hall. "Come--the others will wish to see you." Jubilee laughed, taking Storm's hand.   
As she was led away, Jubilee glanced back over her shoulder at Wolverine, silently mouthing four words…>I missed you, Wolvie.   
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Chapter 2

Hours later, Jubilee was safely tucked away in her old room. Her scant possessions lay strewn about the floor as she searched for something to sleep in. The rest of her belongings were due to arrive at the mansion in a few days--till then, she'd have to make do with what was crammed into the four bags she'd carried with her. Sighing, she pushed aside the two suitcases and reached for her carry-on luggage. The first offered nothing but toiletries and other essentials. The second had better results. Pulling a set of red silk pajamas from their protective tissue, she stood. *It's always the last place I look.* Grabbing up her shampoo, she headed for the shower.   
The hot water burned away her tension, easing the stress of the day to a more tolerable level. Breathing deeply, Jubilee let her mind wander over the events of the day--her anticipation at coming home, seeing Wolverine again, being welcomed back by her friends--but mostly she thought about Wolvie. More exactly, she thought about the look he'd had in his eyes when he first recognized her.   
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Had Jubilee been anywhere else but in the shower, she might have heard the door to her room open. Or she might have seen the person that entered under cover of darkness. And if she was lucky, she might have noticed him sitting at her desk in the silence.   
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Jubilee emerged from the bathroom in a haze of steam. She padded to the bedside table, switching on the lamp as she combed out her hair. The visitor watched her quietly reenter the bathroom, hearing her damp towel brush against the shower curtain as she tossed it over the rod to dry. He listened to the sound of her feet crossing the tile again as she moved to turn off the light. She came back into the bedroom, and as she passed by him again, he finally spoke.   
"Red looks good on ya, darlin'."   
Jubilee gasped, backpedaling, before she realized who was in her room. "God, Wolvie! What are you doin' in here?"   
"Figured I'd drop in an' see ya."   
"Yeah, well--you might wanna let me know beforehand next time."   
She heard him chuckle to himself. "Why? What ya gonna do? Paf me?"   
A grin played over her lips. "As a matter o' fact, I just might."   
"Not gonna happen. Ya know what I'd do to ya." The *snickt* of his claws announced his intentions to the room.   
"Oh, get off it, Wolvie. I know you'd never hurt me." She crossed the room to where he sat, and placing a hand on his shoulder, leaned over to flip the switch on the lamp behind him. The room grew slightly brighter. "There, that's better." Moving away from him, she went to the bed, sitting on its edge. "Now I can see you, too." She eyed him from her perch, trying to figure out why he'd "dropped in" at such a late hour. It didn't make sense, and she wanted answers. She sucked in a breath, and lying back on the bed, stared nonchalantly at the ceiling. "So, why'd you pick now to visit? You know, it could've waited till morning, Wolvie. I'm not goin' anywhere."   
Logan didn't say anything for a few seconds. His still form remained in the chair, his eyes focused on her, his gaze drifting from her feet, up her legs, past the curves of her hip and tiny waist, over the roundness of her breasts, the dip of her shoulder as it formed her throat, and coming to rest on her face. He slowly drew in a measured breath. "Nah, darlin'--you're not. I just wanted ta see ya tonight."   
She didn't move to look up at him, but he could sense her smiling as she talked. "Why, so you could have me to yourself?"   
"Yeah." The word fell into the open like a weight. Jubilee stiffened, instantly taking note of the strangled tone of Wolvie's voice. Pushing her upper body up to rest on her elbows, she locked eyes with him.   
"What's that supposed to mean, Wolvie?" She heard the faint sound of his claws retracting as he stood.   
"Nothin'. Nothin' at all." He crossed the room noiselessly, pausing at the foot of the bed. "'Night, Jube."   
And he was gone.   
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Chapter 3

*What the hell was I thinkin'? She ain't a kid anymore--dammit, I can _see_ that--so what the hell was I doin' in her room?* Logan paced the floor of his own room, alternately extending and retracting his claws in frustration. *She ain't a kid…I had no right ta barge in there like--shit. I prob'ly scared the hell out o' her.* He growled softly in the darkness, claws disappearing as his hands went to his head. *Gotta get my mind off o' this. Can't keep thinkin' 'bout her.* He flung open the door and headed downstairs.   
The kitchen was quiet, and Logan's bare feet made no sound on the floor as he went to the refrigerator. The door opened with a faint *woosh* and he reached in for the milk, stopping in mid-motion. Looking to the doorway, he recognized Jean in the dim light. "What're ya doin' up, Red?"   
"You were thinking loud enough to wake the dead, Logan."   
*Shit.* "Sorry 'bout that." He closed the fridge and opened the cabinet to get a glass. "Can I get ya anything, Jean?"   
"No, thanks." She paused. "You drink milk, Logan?"   
"Yeah. Can't drink beer all the time." He sat down heavily in a chair at the table, motioning to the seat across from him. "Sit down, Red. I ain't gonna bite."   
Jean slid into the chair, resting her chin in her hand. "Want to talk about it?"   
"No."   
"Okay." She said nothing further for a few moments, only watching the man across from her. As he refilled his glass, she spoke again. "Jubilee has certainly grown up, hasn't she?"   
His eyes glared menacingly. "I said I didn't want ta talk about it."   
Her hands went up in a gesture of surrender. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I only want to help you, Logan. You know that." He didn't respond. "I know this is bothering you--I felt it all afternoon. Jubilee's changed--face it, Logan. She's not your "little girl" anymore. She's a grown woman."   
"I see that, Jean. That's the whole damn problem." With that, he left the room, leaving Jean at the table with a startled look of revelation on her face.   
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Chapter 4

Morning came too early for Jubilee's tastes, and the alarm clock by her bed paid the price. With a quick *paf*, it was shorted out of existence, and she pulled the covers up over her head to block out the sounds of the early risers moving around downstairs. The chatter proved to be too much, however, and with a huff, she threw back the covers and sat up. "God--you'd think a person could get some SLEEP around here just once!"   
*Quit pouting and come downstairs, Jubilee.*   
*I hear you, Jean. Keep your clothes on.*   
*Very funny, young lady.*   
*Oh--sorry, Professor. Didn't mean for you to hear that. I'm on my way.*   
A few minutes later, she was walking into the kitchen to grab some breakfast. As always, the room was jam-packed with people carrying plates and bowls of food, scrambling for a seat or a spot at the counter. As soon as she reached the center of the throng, she was bombarded with questions.   
"How did you sleep?"   
"Was everything as you left it, Jubilee?"   
"Were you comfortable?"   
"Are you hungry?"   
"What would yah like tah eat, sugah?"   
Throwing her hands up, she yelled, "Wait a sec, will you?" Everyone fell silent. "First, I slept fine. Second, my room's great…though I'm gonna need a new alarm clock. Third, I slept like a baby. Fourth, yeah--I'm hungry. And to answer that last one, Rogue, gimme some cereal, please." She glanced around the room, noticing for the first time that Wolverine was absent.   
"Where's--"   
*He's in his room, Jubilee.* Jean's voice was quick and determined. Jubilee turned to give her a puzzled look.   
*Don't say anything.*   
"Where's what, chère?"   
"Uh--where's a seat?"   
"Here, Jubilee." Scott stood, offering her his spot beside Jean. "I'm finished. You're more than welcome to it."   
"Thanks, Cyke." Flashing him a bright smile, she wedged herself in at the crowded table.   
Talking diminished as members of the group left to get started on their day. Most had a few errands and duties to tend to before the afternoon's activities. Scott and the Professor had decided to let the crew off easy, opting instead to celebrate Jubilee's homecoming with an intimate get-together later in the day. Finally, the room was empty except for Jubilee and Jean, who had nursed her coffee so long it had gotten cold.   
Without looking up, Jean spoke. "You spooked him, Jubilee."   
Jubilee choked on her orange juice. Coughing, she spit out her words. "I spooked HIM? How the hell did I do that? I mean, I'm not the one sneakin' into people's rooms in the middle of the night…"   
Jean quirked an eyebrow. *This is certainly getting interesting.* Clearing her throat, she met the younger woman's eyes. "You grew up, Jubilee. You're not the girl Logan remembers. He looks at you now, and he--" Jean's glance swept over the taut form of the figure beside her. "Well--let's just say he doesn't think of you the same way anymore."   
"Damn."   
"Jubilee--"   
"Sorry, Jean. I didn't mean to…it's just--why didn't he say somethin'?"   
"You know Logan. He…has his methods."   
"Like prowlin' in people's bedrooms and waitin' for them to get out of the shower?"   
Jean sighed. "That sounds like our Wolverine." She rose from her chair, going to pour her coffee down the sink. "Is that what happened last night?"   
"Yeah. He was waitin' in the dark. I didn't even know he was there until he spoke."   
"What was he doing?"   
"I don't know. Watchin' me, maybe."   
Jean's look said everything.   
"Oh, hell--you mean that's what he came in there for? To watch me?"   
"Most likely, yes."   
"Wolvie…what are you thinkin'?" Jubilee muttered to herself.   
Jean's hand reached out, grasping Jubilee's. "I don't think he really meant anything by it. He was probably trying to come to terms with what he's seeing. It can't be easy for him, Jubilee. He's known you for so long."   
"You really think so? You don't think he--?"   
"Well…I'll say this, and no more. I saw him last night, after his "visit" to your room, and I'd say he's not having any trouble seeing you as a woman anymore. You've got him pretty rattled. I've never seen Logan so bothered by something." The last sentence was punctuated with a sly grin. "Well, I'd better get going. Hank asked me to help him take an inventory of the MedLab supplies today. If you need anything, you know where I'll be." A quick hug, and Jean took off.   
Jubilee stared down at her soggy breakfast. "Well. I guess I finally got Wolvie's attention."   
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Chapter 5

The afternoon sunlight filtered through lightly frosted windows. The temperature outside had dropped considerably, and a news break had warned the team of another front moving in. Scott pushed back the curtains and peered outside at the snow-covered ground. Fortunately, all in-town errands had been done that morning, which meant that everyone was back, safe and sound, at the mansion. He sighed. Low-hanging clouds were beginning to blanket the sky, promising a heavy snowfall. Now his biggest worry was keeping everyone from getting cabin fever.   
"Scott? What are you looking at?"   
He let go of the curtain, turning around to look at his wife. "The clouds. Looks to be a bad storm. The generators are ready to go, aren't they?"   
"Yes--Gambit checked them earlier. We shouldn't have any problems if the power goes out."   
"Good. I don't want to be sitting around in the dark for the next few days."   
Jean came over to the window, sliding her arms around him. "Why not? It might be fun. You, me, lots of candles…"   
"Hmm. I wonder if I should go "check" the generators myself."   
"Oh, Scott…" She laughed. "I love you."   
"I love you, too, Jean."   
They watched as the clouds rolled in, covering the sky above the mansion in a gray haze.   
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"Jean, Rogue? Is everything ready?" Storm pushed open the door to the kitchen.   
"Yes--we're popping the popcorn now."   
"And where are the video cassettes?"   
"In my room. The bag's by the door. Make Scott go get them." Storm was turning to leave when Jean called out to her again. "Storm...?"   
"Yes?"   
Jean paused, uncertain if she should go ahead with what she was about to say. She glanced down, thinking. A slight nod to herself and her eyes returned to Storm. "Would you have Logan go get Jubilee? I think she's in her room."   
"Of course, Jean."   
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Logan growled as he went up the stairs. *Why the hell did Jean do this ta me? What's she plannin'? Red don't ever do somethin' like this without a reason.* He strode down the hallway to Jubilee's door with determination. Raising his fist, he pounded on the door. A moment later, it was flung open by a very unhappy Jubilee.   
"You tryin' to break down the door?!"   
"Nah. Jean sent me ta tell ya ta come down."   
"Oh. Okay…I'm on my way. Gimme a minute." She closed the door.   
Logan hesitated, unsure of whether he should wait for her to come out or go back down and wait with the others. Suddenly, Jubilee reappeared, clad in well-cut blue jeans and a bright yellow cashmere sweater. Logan couldn't help but notice how charming she looked, and when their eyes met, Jubilee blushed.   
"Uh--thanks for waitin' on me, Wolvie."   
He grunted. "No problem. Let's go." Logan stepped aside and let her go down the stairs ahead of him, careful to look anywhere except at her. She bounced down the steps, gliding into the room with a bright smile for her friends.   
"Hey, guys," she pointed at the videos, "let's get this show on the road. I've been waitin' all day for this."   
Hank laughed and scooted over. "Jubilee, you're welcome to join me if you like."   
She grinned at him. "Thanks, Beast, but I always--" She swallowed the words. She'd always sat beside Wolvie when they watched movies, and when it was crowded, she sat at his feet. But now--things were different. "Uh, yeah…I'll sit with you. Thanks."   
She slipped into the seat beside him, reaching for the stack of videotapes on the table next to her. "The Matrix--cool…Jaws…Citizen Kane? Is this yours, Hank?…Casablanca--hmmm. Lemme guess who picked that one out, Rogue." She flipped over the last box. "Raiders of the Lost Ark…uh--let's watch Matrix first, okay?" She tossed the case to Scott, careful to avoid Wolverine's questioning look. They always watched Raiders together.   
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A few hours later, the group had made it through their first two choices, and Logan had finally won his battle to watch Indy take on the Nazis again. Too tired to stay awake, Jean had fallen asleep on Scott's shoulder, and he'd carried her up to bed, deciding to follow suit. The Professor had long since retired, and Hank left shortly thereafter--electing to rise early and enjoy Kane in solitude. Rogue was curled up with Remy, and Jubilee sat wrapped in a blanket on the far side of the room. Logan was not unaware of her effort to keep distance between them.   
"Ooh, Remy--this is mah favorite part…" Rogue pointed at the screen, where Indy was waiting for the goon to finish his sword-wielding handiness. Indy reached for his revolver--   
The power went out.   
The four sat in total silence, waiting for the generators to kick in and bring the lights back on. After a few minutes, Jubilee heard Wolverine swearing under his breath.   
"What the hell'd ya do, Cajun?"   
"I didn' do anyt'ing, mon ami. I check dem earlier, dey seem fine. Gambit not know what goin' on."   
"Rogue, where're some candles? We're gonna need some light. Jubilee, go get Cyke--he's gonna be pissed, but he needs ta know what's goin' on."   
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An hour later, most of the X-Men emerged from the basement with somber faces. Gambit and Beast had remained with the generators, hoping to bring at least one more online within the next few hours. Something was seriously wrong--they'd managed to get only two of the generators running, and one was devoted to keeping the MedLab operational. The other was being routed to the refrigeration and security systems, with minimal power used for emergency lighting and heating. Cyclops had been adamant--no power used for heating living spaces, only rooms with plumbing. The group would split up and sleep in lower-floor rooms--the fireplaces would provide enough warmth for everyone to make it through the night.   
"How're we goin' tah decide who sleeps where?"   
Tired and chilled, Scott shrugged. "I don't know, Rogue. I honestly don't know. Just--do whatever works best for everyone. Jean and I will take a room, the Professor has a fireplace in his own room, so he's okay, and I'm guessing Hank will stay in the MedLab to keep an eye on things there."   
"I will retire here in the recreation room, Scott."   
"Works for me, Storm. Rogue--what are you going to do?"   
"Ah'm guessin' Ah'll wait for Remy, but Ah'll stay in here with Storm for now."   
"Okay…Jubilee? What about you and Logan?"   
Wolverine broke in. "I'll stay in my own room, Cyke. Cold ain't a problem for me. Jubilee can stay here with them."   
Scott glanced to Jubilee for her approval. Her eyes never left the floor. Shrugging, he nodded his assent. "Get your blankets, then. I'll tell Gambit and Hank to let us know the moment something changes. Good night, everyone. Try to stay warm."   
Jubilee sighed. It was going to be a long night.   
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Chapter 6

Jubilee woke up cold. Pushing the blanket down from her face, she looked around the room. The fire had died. That's why she was freezing. Knowing that they had to stay warm, she crawled out from under her covers and went to the fireplace. Kneeling on the hearth, she stacked more logs and kindling on the remaining embers. With a quick *paf*, the smaller pieces ignited, and she backed away from the flames. In the faint light, she could make out the sleeping forms of Storm, Rogue, and Gambit.   
*They must've not had any luck.* She shivered again and crawled back to her makeshift bed. Lying down in the dark, she thought of Wolverine. *I wonder what he's doin'. Is he asleep? Is he cold?* She turned over, burying her head in the warmth of the wool blanket covering her, trying to sleep. It was no use. She couldn't stop worrying about Wolvie. She tossed back the blankets again, grabbing a soft fleece one to wrap around her body as she went upstairs.   
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"Wolvie? You awake?" She whispered, knowing that he'd hear her no matter how softly she spoke, but still trying to be courteous. She certainly didn't want to startle him. She called his name again, this time a little more loudly. "Wolvie?"   
"Yeah. What ya need, Jubilee?"   
She snapped her head around to where the sound was coming from. "Nothin'. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, is all."   
"I'm okay. Go back ta sleep."   
She ignored him. "Wolvie--" She took a step inside, suddenly feeling the iron grip of his hand on her arm. "Ow!" His hand fell away. Rubbing the spot where he'd grabbed her, she talked to the darkness. "What'd you do that for?" She felt his presence move away. "Wolvie, what's wrong? Did I do somethin'?"   
"No." His voice was soft.   
"Then why are you bein' so distant?"   
He said nothing.   
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the flicker of candlelight. One by one, a row of candles was lit. In the pale amber glow, she saw a shadow figure moving around the room, leaving more dancing flames in its wake. Soon, she could make out the room in its entirety. She turned to Logan. "What's this for?"   
"Figured ya'd like it better if ya could see."   
"Well, it helps."   
He moved away, taking a seat across the room.   
"Mind if I sit on the bed?"   
"Nah. Go ahead."   
She pulled the blanket more tightly around her body and sat down, scooting to the center of the bed. "Wanna talk?"   
"No."   
"Okay. Then what do you want to do?"   
"I was fine 'fore you came in."   
"Sorry--I'll go then."   
"No…stay." His words came out a throaty growl.   
*That's it. I've had enough of this.* Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Wolvie--talk to me. You've been actin' strange since I got here yesterday. You're not the Wolverine I remember. What's goin' on? Jean said I spooked you--is it true?"   
*Damn ya, Red.*   
"Wolvie, please. We've been friends too long for this…"   
"Ya changed, Jube."   
"Yeah, I know. Girls do that, Wolvie. We get older, and things…change. I'm almost twenty-one. Last time you saw me, I was seventeen. A lot's happened since then." She slid off the bed and went to him, feeling her stomach do a few flip-flops as it did battle with the butterflies inside. "But I'm still your Jubilee. Nothin's ever gonna change that." She knelt in the floor at his feet, her trembling hands coming to rest on his knees. "I missed you, Wolvie. More than you know." The fleece blanket fell from one of her shoulders, slanting across her back. "I met lots o' boys while I was gone, Wolvie. There were some nice ones, some really cute ones, even a really rich one. But that was the thing--they were all boys. You ruined me, Wolvie. Nobody can hold a candle to you--not in my book, anyway." Her face glowed in the low light. "I'm yours, Wolvie. Always have been."   
"Jubilee--no. I can't."   
"Can't what?"   
"I can't do this--not ta you."   
"I'm not askin' you to do anythin'. It's my choice, isn't it?"   
"I can't let ya--"   
"Let me? How you goin' to stop me?" She stood up, adrenaline coursing through her veins as the blanket fell away from her body. "Tell me, Wolvie. How do you intend to stop me from doin' whatever the hell I want? You came to my room last night--what for? You didn't want to talk, so what made you come? Jean says it's because you want to look at me. That true? You want to see me, Wolvie? I can show you if that's all you're after." She reached down, tugging at the hem of her sweater. Large hands closed around her wrists and she felt hot breath against her skin.   
"Jubilee--stop. Please."   
She wrestled against him. "Stop what, Logan? Takin' my shirt off? Bein' a grown woman? Wantin' you? Tell me what. You tell me what you want me to quit doin', and I'll stop."   
He pushed her away. "Darlin', please--"   
"No! Tell me, dammit. Tell me you don't want me. I want to hear you say it."   
He growled low and long. "Don't make a liar out o' me."   
She froze, gazing at him in the candlelight. He looked away, staring at the floor a moment before turning defiant eyes on her.   
"It's true. You…you…" She faltered.   
"Hell, yeah, it's true. But it bein' true don't make it right."   
"But--"   
"No, Jubilee. I can't." He backed away, shaking his head. "I've known ya too long." He turned his back on her, focusing on the reflection of candles in the mirror.   
She slipped up behind him, reaching out to touch him, her fingers splaying out over his back as she traced the ridge of his spine. She leaned forward on her tiptoes, whispering in his ear. "I'm not a little girl...that's why you can." She felt the rumble in his chest and glanced in the mirror. His eyes were shut, clamped tight against the world. They flew open suddenly and he met her gaze, two sets of bright blue eyes riveted to one another.   
"Are ya sure, darlin'?"   
"Yes."   
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Chapter 7

Logan lay silent in the dark, feeling the warm breath of Jubilee against his bare chest. She was sleeping peacefully, one leg wrapped around his, her head resting on his shoulder. Everywhere her skin touched his was alive with sensations. His large hand drifted down her back, fingers lightly tracing over the smooth expanse of flesh. He could smell her scent in the air, on the sheets, on himself. She whimpered--dreaming, probably--and his body reacted immediately to the soft sound. Even in sleep, she unwittingly commanded his attentions. He exhaled slowly, trying not to wake her.   
*She's earned a break. Hate ta bother her now.* He lifted his head, looking down at her face. In the dwindling candlelight, he could see that a strand of her jet-black hair had fallen over her eyes. He brushed it aside, studying her features. Skin like warm honey, finely arched brows above long dark lashes…behind the closed lids, two orbs of blue fire…lower--full, dark red lips, slightly parted, breath passing between them in faint puffs. Almost as if he'd willed it, they began to curve into a smile. Then a whisper breathed out softly.   
"Like what you see, bub?"   
His eyes darted back up to hers. "Yeah."   
"That all you got to say?"   
"What more ya want?"   
She snickered. "Never one to mince words, huh, Wolvie?"   
"Nah."   
"Okay by me." She snaked one hand across his chest. "C'mere, you."   
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Jubilee woke again to someone pounding at the door. Her hand reached out for Wolverine, but he wasn't in the bed with her anymore. Sitting up, her gaze swept the room, landing on the sliver of light coming from under the bathroom door. The pounding continued.   
"Logan? Logan! Do you know where Jubilee is? Logan!" Scott was shouting through the door. Frantic, Jubilee slid out of bed, searching for her clothes. Shimmying into her jeans, she snatched her sweater off the floor. Logan came out of the bathroom fully dressed, calling to Scott.   
"Gimme a sec, Cyke. I'm tryin' ta get some clothes on." Jubilee looked at him, confused. He pushed her into the bathroom, tossing her sweater in behind her. "Get in the shower, Jubilee. I'll handle this." He closed the door after her. Drying his hair with the towel, he opened the door to his room.   
Scott eyed him suspiciously. "Where's Jubilee?"   
"Shower."   
"What is she doing in your room, Logan?"   
"Sleepin'."   
"With the door locked?"   
Logan shrugged. "Musta been an accident. I didn't notice."   
"Logan, I highly disapprove of this behavior--"   
"Can it, one-eye. Jubilee ain't a kid anymore. She does what she wants."   
"But fraternization--"   
"Is beside the point. Remember Jean?"   
"My marriage to Jean has nothing to do with this. Jubilee is years younger than you."   
"Look at it this way, Summers. Even if she's is doing somethin' she shouldn't, it ain't any o' your business."   
Scott's mouth was set in a grim line. "Okay, Logan. I'll let it pass this time. But watch yourself. If it happens again, I will take action."   
Wolverine growled, slamming the door in the other man's face. "Take your best shot, Cyke."   
"What'd he say, Wolvie?"   
Logan glanced over his shoulder. Jubilee stood in the bathroom doorway wrapped in a towel. Her hair hung loose, the rivulets of dripping water running over her exposed skin. He blinked. "Nothin'."   
"Liar. He was pissed, admit it."   
"Yeah--but he knows ta leave it alone."   
"How're we goin' to hide this?"   
"We ain't."   
"What?"   
"We ain't goin' ta hide it, Jubilee--we ain't gonna do this again." Logan heard her sharp intake of air. Her eyes never moved from his, boring into him relentlessly.   
"What do you mean? It's over? That quick?"   
"It never got started. It shouldn't have happened."   
Her eyes closed slowly. "Damn you, Logan. Damn me, too." She whirled around, taking refuge in the bathroom.   
Logan sighed, going to the door. "Jubilee, open the door."   
"Go to hell, Wolverine."   
"Hell's gonna have ta wait a minute. We need ta talk."   
"'Bout what? Nothin' happened, okay? Just forget about it…"   
"Forget, hell. You think I could forget what we did? Darlin', I'm gonna remember this for the rest o' my days. The question is if I'm gonna regret it or not. I need ta know somethin' 'fore I can be sure."   
The door opened. Jubilee stormed past him, arms crossed over her chest. "Okay. I'll bite. What do you want to know?"   
The overwhelming scent of her clung to her clothing. His eyes followed her movements as he inhaled deeply, filling himself with the smell that could only ever be hers. "Why'd ya do it?"   
"What? Last night? Is that what you mean?"   
"Yeah."   
"'Cause I wanted to, that's why."   
"I want a better answer than that, darlin'."   
She sighed, rolling her head backwards and from side to side to ease the tension in her neck. Straightening, she tilted her head and matched his stare dead-on. "Fine. You want a better answer, then you'll get one. I've always admired you, Wolverine, and I've always kinda thought you belonged to me. I was jealous of every woman you ever looked twice at. I wanted you to look at me that way, but you never did. I was always a kid to you." She shrugged. "When I went away, I made a promise to myself to forget you. I didn't. Couldn't. You were always there with me--no matter where I was, you were there." Jubilee paused, waiting for his reaction. Seeing none, she continued. "So, one day, I finally gave up and accepted the fact that I'll always want you more than anybody else. And when I realized that, I knew it was time to come back here. No sense in runnin' forever, you know? 'Sides--I figured if I wanted you bad enough, I'd find a way to get you."   
Logan's eyes narrowed. "That what this is? Gettin' me?"   
"No. Wolvie--you mean the world to me. Don't you understand?"   
"Pretend I'm real stupid, darlin', and make it real clear to me."   
"God Almighty, Wolvie. You sure know how to make life hard for a girl."   
"Yeah, guess ya figured that out, huh?"   
"Knew that a long time ago."   
"Jubilee…quit yer stallin' an' answer."   
"Okay, okay. You want to know why I came back, why I came after you?"   
"Yeah."   
"First of all, don't keep thinkin' I came up here last night to do what I did. That wasn't planned. It just sorta happened. I swear."   
He growled. "Keep talkin'."   
"Hell, Wolvie, what do you want me to say?" Jubilee's voice began rising in pitch. "You drive me nuts. You make me so mad I want to kill you myself, then you do somethin' that makes me so damn happy I can't stand it. You never stop surprisin' me. You know how much fun that is? I missed that. I missed you." She threw her hands up in defeat. "Whatever. Just think whatever you want, Wolvie. I was happy last night--the happiest I've been in three years. But I guess that doesn't matter. This is the closest I've come to bein' able to love somebody, and you couldn't give a damn about it."   
"Darlin'--"   
"Don't even start. I don't want to hear it, okay? Last night was a mistake. Comin' back here was a mistake." Jubilee went to the door, jerking it open. "Tell you what--gimme a few days, and I'll be outta your hair. God knows I don't want to be a problem for you, Logan." She slammed the door behind her violently, a vase on a nearby table rattling from the shock.   
******************************   
Chapter 8

"Jean! Jean, open the damn door!" Jubilee was breathless with rage and humiliation, ready to burst into tears at any moment. Jean opened her bedroom door to find the young woman trembling from her overwrought emotions.   
"Oh my God! Jubilee, what happened to you?"   
"Let me in first." She pushed past, collapsing in a chair as Jean closed the door.   
"Jubilee, honey--are you okay?"   
"I slept with Wolverine."   
*What?!*   
"You heard me."   
"Yes, but--"   
"Don't say it, Jean. I don't need the I-told-you-so's right now, okay? I slept with him, and then he threw me out."   
"Oh, no…"   
"I screwed up. I wanted him for so long--wanted him to see me as a grown woman, wanted him to want me…I wanted him to love me, for Chrissake's. And when I finally get the chance to make him look at me a little differently, I hop in the damn bed with him! Now he wants to know why." Jubilee laughed sardonically. "Why. That's a helluva question. 'Jube, why'd you have sex with me?' 'Well, Wolvie, I did it 'cause I can't get you outta my head. Oh, yeah--and I've loved you forever.' Sure, he'd be thrilled to hear that." She sniffled.   
"Did you try telling him?"   
"Right, Jean. Like Wolverine would understand. Know what he'd do? The thing he's thinkin' 'bout doin' right now. Runnin'. He always does."   
"I'm sorry--I…I don't know what to say."   
"Don't worry 'bout it. I just had to talk to somebody."   
"I can understand that." Jean paused, holding Jubilee's hand tightly. After a few minutes, she spoke again. "What are you going to do?"   
"Do? I'm leavin'."   
"Leaving? You can't--you just arrived."   
"I sure as hell can't stay here. I'm not part of the team, not really. Wolvie is. You guys need him. I don't want to be the reason he leaves."   
"Jubilee, if Logan can't handle your being here, then maybe he does need to leave. He had a part in this, too."   
"But it was my idea. I started it."   
Jean sighed. "Jubilee, do what you feel is best. You're an adult, and if you choose to leave, I'll support that decision. Even if I disagree with it. Fair enough?"   
"Fair enough."   
******************************   
*Logan, where are you?*   
Logan froze. Jean's voice was laced with anger. Not a common occurrence. Something was wrong. *My room, Red.*   
*I'm on my way.*   
Not two minutes had passed before she was at Logan's door. He opened it to her, and she stormed past him, eyes flashing. "What has gotten into you, Logan? Do you really feel that it's necessary to hurt Jubilee this much?"   
"What the hell are ya talkin' about, Jean?"   
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Jubilee told me what happened."   
Snarling, he turned on her. "This is none o' your business, Red."   
"It became my business when Jubilee decided to leave."   
"She ain't leavin'."   
"How do you know?"   
"I know Jubilee. She'll stay. 'Sides, I'm leavin' as soon as I can get some stuff together."   
"My God, she was right."   
"What ya talkin' about?"   
"Jubilee said you would leave--that you always run."   
"I ain't runnin'. I just need some time ta think this through."   
"And how long will that take, Logan? A week? A few months? A year?"   
"I don't know." Growling, he walked away.   
She followed him, unfazed. "Don't go. If you care for her at all, you'll stay."   
"I love her, Jean. That's why I'm goin'. She don't need this."   
"Did you ever stop to consider that it may be what she wants, Logan? She loves you, she told me herself. Her loyalty and admiration for you evolved into something greater."   
"She can't understand love."   
"Really? How can you be so sure? Yes, she's younger than us, but does that mean she's any less aware of her feelings? She knows what she wants, and God only knows why, but she wants you."   
"That's her problem."   
"You self-serving…well, I can see talking to you will accomplish nothing. Go, then. Drive away and do your best to reckon with yourself. I only hope you find no rest along the way, Logan. I hope you hurt as much as she is." Jean turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving him standing there.   
******************************   
Chapter 9

Midnight came and Logan slipped out of his room. He'd avoided contact with anyone else for the remainder of the day, and the time had finally come for him to go. His knapsack was in his hand, his duffel bag flung over his shoulder. Because of the snow, he'd decided to take his Jeep--he'd need something with plenty of traction. The 4X4 would get him where he needed to go. Tossing his bags over the seat, he climbed in. As the vehicle warmed up, he reached for one of his cassette tapes. Picking one up, his hand brushed something. He reached up and flipped the switch on a small interior lamp. In the dim light, he saw an envelope lying where it had fallen in the floorboard. Scrawled across the front was one word: "WOLVIE." He retrieved it, opened it, and pulled out the sheet of paper inside. It was a letter from Jubilee. He read-- 

"Wolvie, 

I knew you'd leave, and I knew you'd take the Jeep because of the snow. You'll need the 4-wheel drive to get out to the main roads. Better traction and all that. Whatever the case, be careful. I know how you can get behind the wheel."   
He smirked.   
"Anyway, I thought I'd leave you this letter as a goodbye, because I'll be gone before you come home again. I meant what I said earlier--I don't want to be a problem for you, and if I stay, things will only get worse. You are very important to me, Wolvie, and I don't want you angry. I know you are right now, but it'll pass. Just like what I'm feeling will pass. I'll move on, and someday I'll forget. I just hope it's soon."   
An unusual stabbing pain in his chest made him pause in his reading. Taking a deep breath of the warming air, he continued.   
"Jean wanted me to tell you one thing, though. She said it'd make me feel better--something about letting it all out and pushing it away. (Like I've ever really understood that kind of thing.) I hope it helps, but only time will tell, I guess. I'm rambling now--I never was good at writing letters--so I'll just come out and say it.   
I love you, Wolvie. I really do. Take it however you want. 

--Jubilee." 

There was a small arrow at the bottom right-hand corner of the page. Flipping the sheet over, he read a short P.S. on the back. "I left something else for you in there. It's a tape I made while I was gone. The songs made me think of you. Maybe you can listen to it. I don't want it anymore. -J."   
He looked over at the seat next to him. There was the cassette, just as she'd said. He popped it out of its case, sliding it into the tape deck. There was about a minute of dead time before the first song. It was 80's music--the kind of rock for which Jubilee had always had an affinity, and that Logan had never really cared for. Still, it was something to listen to. He released the brake and pushed in the clutch, changing to 4-wheel drive as he shifted into first. The songs played as he drove away, falling on half-listening ears. A few miles out, the tempo changed drastically--falling from the upbeat, rambunctious "wild-child" songs she associated with him to something much quieter, somber. He recognized it from one of her older albums. It was by that guy from the band Genesis…what was his name…Paul--no…Phillip--no, Phil. Phil Collins. Yeah, that was it. He glanced from the road, locating the controls on the dash. He pressed the "rewind" button, then hit "play." The song started again as he turned up the volume. 

"How can I just let you walk away,   
Just let you leave without a trace…" 

*Shit. She got me. The little…she'll pay for this one.* 

"How can you just walk away from me,   
When all I can do is watch you leave,   
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain,   
And even shared the tears--   
You're the only one who really knew me at all…" 

He fast-forwarded. *Can't listen to this now.* He growled. *I'll get her for this…* Releasing the button, he listened. 

"I wish I could just make you turn around,   
Turn around and see me cry,   
There's so much I need to say to you…" 

He fast-forwarded again. 

"…to wait for you is all I can do…" 

He punched the radio, effectively killing the tape. It warbled a few notes, then faded out completely. Hitting the brakes, he jerked the wheel, sending the Jeep into a spin. Fishtailing, he straightened up, downshifted, and floored it. Chunks of ice and snow flew up from under the tires as he sped back to the mansion. Portions of the song drifted through his mind despite the silence. He pressed the gas down harder. Logan muttered to himself, blind to the danger of his excessive speed. He only knew that he had to get back. Had to settle this.   
******************************   
Chapter 10

The Jeep skidded in the drive, sliding over ice until it plowed into a drift. Wolverine killed the engine, jumping out and running to the mansion's entrance. He let himself in, taking the stairs to the upper floors two at a time. Reaching Jubilee's room, he forced the door open. Suitcases were on the bed, her clothes spilling out of them--he recognized her red silk pajamas among the articles strewn about. Other belongings lay on the bed, ready to be packed up next. Jubilee came from the bathroom, a toiletries bag in her hand.   
"What are you doin' here?" She shot him a look colder than the snow outside.   
"I came back."   
"Good for you." She walked to her bed, dropping the small bag inside a suitcase and zipping it shut. "I'm busy, Logan, so if you don't mind, I'd like for you to get out."   
"We need ta talk, Jube."   
"No--we don't. We've talked enough. You made yourself clear, and now I'm clearin' out."   
He reached for her arm. "Jubilee--"   
She threw her hands up, moving into a defense posture. "Back off, Logan."   
"I don't think so, darlin'." He popped out his claws. "We goin' ta do this the easy way, or the hard way?"   
"Good one, Wolvie. I guess screwing me ain't enough." Her mouth twisted down. "Now you're gonna try to skewer me, too." She stood straight, lowering her hands to her sides. "You win. Talk."   
His claws disappeared. "Why'd ya come back?"   
"Haven't we already had this conversation?"   
"Refresh my memory."   
"Logan, I already told you."   
"Nah, ya didn't. Told me everythin' but what I wanted.""   
"What do you want?"   
"The truth, Jubilee. Spill it."   
"What truth? There's nothin' left to tell. I wanted you, I got you--at least for a little while. End o' story."   
"Not what Jean tells me."   
"What'd she say?"   
"Not much. Just somethin' about ya growin' up an' knowin' yer own mind."   
"And?"   
"An' that I should listen to ya some, an' quit runnin'."   
"And you listened to her?"   
"Yeah, well--she said some interestin' things."   
"Like?"   
"Like ya thinkin' ya love me."   
"Oh." Jubilee didn't flinch. He'd hoped for some kind of response, something that would clue him in on her feelings, but she wasn't giving off any signals. Picking up anger would have been more comforting. But nothing? It worried him.   
"Ya got anythin' ta say ta that?"   
"Besides sayin' Jean's wrong? No."   
He faltered. For once, the fight in him disappeared, leaving him with no sense of direction. "Then--I'll just…go."   
"That'd be good, Logan."   
He reached for the doorknob, completely dumbfounded. *How could Jean be wrong…?*   
As he stepped through the door, Jubilee stopped him, her hand on his arm. "Hey, Wolvie."   
"Yeah?"   
"There's a difference between thinkin' and knowin'. If that means anythin' to you."   
"Jubilee--"   
She turned from him. "Go away, Logan. I've gotta finish packin'."   
"Nope, not this time." He pushed past her, going back into the room. "I said I wanted ta talk, an' you've been givin' me the run-around ever since." He pointed. "Close the door."   
She complied, looking at him strangely. "What are you doin'?"   
"I ain't leavin' this room till we get this settled. No more lyin', no more hidin' anythin', ya got that?"   
"Yeah." She crossed her arms over her chest.   
"Tell me the truth, Jubilee. Was Jean tellin' me right? 'Bout ya thinkin' ya love me?"   
"No."   
He growled. "Yer lyin'."   
"You sure? You prob'ly wouldn't know love if it bit you on the--"   
"I'm sure."   
"Okay, you got me. I was lyin'. Congratulations."   
"Dammit, Jubilee! What's wrong with ya?"   
"Nothin', Logan. I just want you to get the hell outta my room--and outta my life. That such a bad thing?"   
"When yer lyin' ta me it is."   
"For God's sake…you want to know? I'll tell you then." She walked up to him, her face inches from his as she hissed her words. "I'm sick and tired o' you actin' like I'm a fool. I've loved you for years, Wolvie. I don't think I do--I know I do. It's pathetic and sentimental, but it's the truth. Can you blame me? You're the one that's always been here for me, taken care o' me, protected me, and taught me. You treated me like a kid, but sometimes you needed me--sometimes I was your equal. That was the best thing. I can't help it if things changed. I didn't mean for 'em to. They just did. I grew up, Wolvie. And I started seein' you differently. I'm sorry if that bothers you."   
"Jube…I--"   
"You don't have to say nothin'. You got your answer." She wiped her eyes. "Just leave me alone, okay?"   
"Nah. I think I'll stay here."   
She sniffled, looking up. "What do you mean by that?"   
"I mean what I said. Think I'll stick around."   
"What for?"   
Logan reached for her again. She didn't move away this time, and he drew her close to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He buried his face in her hair, her scent strong. "It ain't every day a man finds out somebody loves him. Can't go runnin' off now."   
"You promise?" She murmured against his skin.   
"Yeah, darlin'. I ain't goin' anywhere."   
He felt her sigh, relaxing against him. Her hands crept up his arms and slipped behind his neck, clutching him, trying to get closer. Kissing her temple, he reached up, disentangling himself from her grasp. Squeezing her hands once before letting them go, he moved to the bed and cleared her belongings away. He came back to her side, scooping her up and carrying her, gently laying her on the sheets in the center of the bed. He sat down beside her, his hand spread over the smooth plane of her abdomen. Reaching out to touch him, she rested her hand on his chest. Her fingers curling tightly around the fabric of his shirt, she tugged hard on it, pulling him down to meet her lips.   
******************************   
When dawn broke, Jubilee lay wide awake in bed, listening to the steady, even breathing of the man curled behind her. Wolverine's arm was draped across her waist, one large hand resting on her stomach. She could feel the pulse of his heart against her back, feel the slight prickling of hair against skin. She slid one hand back, letting it graze the nude skin of his hip. She felt him tense at her feather-light touch, the muscular arm pillowing her head turning to steel.   
"Ya tryin' ta start somethin', darlin'?"   
She smiled to herself. "Maybe."   
"Just checkin'."   
Laughing softly, she rolled over to face him. "No objection, Wolvie?"   
"Not on yer life, bub."   
"Oh, okay." She rolled back over.   
He sat up halfway, looking down at her. "What's the matter, Jube?"   
"I like a man that takes control."   
He growled. "I get it." His hand tightened on her waist, flipping her onto her back. He smirked, sliding over onto her, pinning her body down with his weight. "Better, darlin'?"   
She wriggled underneath him, grinning wildly. "Yeah. I like it."   
He lowered his head, nipping at her throat before kissing her. "Glad ta hear it."   
"I bet." She laced her fingers in his hair. "I love you, Wolvie."   
He paused, his breath hot against her skin. "I know, darlin'. And I'll be damned if I don't love ya, too." He kissed her again before she could speak.   
****************************** 


End file.
